I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
