I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
