i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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