I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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