so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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