i think my tv is drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
