just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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