they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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