stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
