yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
