it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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