I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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