I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
