i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
