how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
