Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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