I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize