i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
