i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's shark week go big or go home
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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