just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we made out on top of his cat.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
