do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
