a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
