I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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