69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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