Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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