Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
