Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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