If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
