Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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