he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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