You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize