The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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