I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
