i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it glows. i had to have it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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