Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
