is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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