I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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