she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
