Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
