Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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