hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
