That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
