you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
