walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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