I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
