It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm too high and old for this...
A+ Viking dick
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
