kristin has been a bad kristin
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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