The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
