D3 body, D1 cock
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
