And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
