you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
