He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
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I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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