Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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