I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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