Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
