You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
