you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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