it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
