my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
