Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
